Dear Ainslie,
Do you know that I don't think I've ever given you a birthday card? I'm sorry, but I hope that someday maybe you'll read some of these entries and they will take the place of cards.
To put it simply, and to use one of your, Bob, and Larry's favorite words, You Are Amazing.
I never dreamed I would be blessed with such a wonderful child. Sometimes I catch myself being smug at your wonderfulness. You really are so smart, funny, cute and well, ornery. Even though it frustrates me sometimes and makes me question whether I am fit to parent, I would rather you be your negotiating, independent, and yes, sometimes infuriating self than not express yourself and not try as hard as you can to get what you want. Someday, when you have gained some maturity, those traits will serve you well.
I can't believe the things that come out of your mouth. You use reason and logic in ways that astound me. You question processes beyond the usual "why" (although there is plenty of "why" in our house too.) Your perception of my opinions and feelings is a little disconcerting. I thought I had to be careful with what I say, now I have to be careful with tone. You understand sarcasm. You think "duh" is an hilarious word.
You break my heart with your sweetness. You tell me that you know Aunt Carrie lives with Jesus, so she must also live in my heart, since Jesus does too. You tell me you want to be a Mommy and a Teacher ("just like You!") when you grow up. Of course, you also say you want to be a princess.
You have a flair for the dramatic. You rarely just say you want something, it's usually, "It would be so (wonderful/amazing) to have a necklace like that, don't you think so?" You sleep in a tiara and plastic high heels. You refer to the Overskirt and Underskirt on your princess gowns, and you did NOT hear those terms from me. You make up epic songs based on stories or the events of the day. You make up words and then tell me you are speaking French or Spanish. "Cisco is French for Chicago, did you know that?" The fireplace hearth is your stage.
You're learning to spell and write. You're starting preschool in the fall and you are very excited. You insist on picking out your own clothes, sometimes several times a day.
You have no artifice. You have a confidence I never had and I hope you never lose. You love your friends, to the point of needing to "worry more about Ainslie." You are brave and outgoing. You talk to everyone.
Oh, kiddo. I pray that I can keep nurturing you the way you need to be nurtured in order to reach your full potential. I pray that the choices I make for you are in your best interest and not just what I deem Easiest or Most Fun. In my hubris, I'm afraid to turn you over to educators who, although I think they will recognize your gifts, may not realize how special you are. I pray that I can always be your best advocate, without embarrassing you to tears as you get older.
You are the best thing I've ever done; my biggest joy, my grandest blessing, and my greatest treasure.
I love you more than anything in the Whole Wide World,
Mommy
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2 comments:
Awwwwww... what a sweet post.
You know, just a few weeks ago we were discussing Birthdays and Ashley let me know that I did not give her a card!
Happy 3rd Birthday Sweet Ainslie (and Mom!)!
~hugs~
This brought tears to my eyes.
Happy 3rd Birthday Cinderella, Snow White, Ariel, Sleeping Beauty, Ainslie :)
Hugs to you~
Holly & Caroline (AKA~Dorothy with the red summer shoes)
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